Understanding the Unconscious Mind: What Lies Beneath Our Awareness

We all have parts of ourselves that remain hidden from our everyday awareness – thoughts, feelings, and memories that shape our behavior without us even knowing it. This is what psychologists call the unconscious mind, and understanding it can be key to personal growth and healing.

What Exactly Is the Unconscious?

At its core, the unconscious is like a storage room in our mind where we keep difficult emotions and memories that we weren't able to fully process at the time they occurred. Think of it as an emotional filing system that operates behind the scenes of our conscious awareness.

How Does It Work?

When we encounter painful or overwhelming experiences, especially during childhood, we often lack the tools or support to handle them effectively. Imagine a young child facing a scary situation – they might cope by distracting themselves with toys or retreating into their imagination. While this works in the moment, it becomes an automatic response that gets deeply encoded in their system.

This coping mechanism then becomes our default setting. Like a well-worn path in a forest, our mind automatically follows these familiar routes of distraction or avoidance whenever similar situations arise. The original painful memories and emotions remain stored in our unconscious, influencing our behavior in ways we might not recognize.

Why Does This Matter?

Understanding our unconscious mind is crucial because these stored memories and emotions don't simply disappear. They continue to affect our:

• Relationships with others

• Emotional responses to everyday situations

• Decision-making processes

• Overall well-being

The Path to Awareness

The good news is that with support and the right tools, we can begin to understand these unconscious patterns. Through therapy and self-reflection, we can gradually bring awareness to these automatic responses and develop new, more helpful ways of dealing with difficult emotions and memories.

Remember, our unconscious mind developed these patterns to protect us when we had no other options. Acknowledging this with compassion is the first step toward healing and growth.

Want to learn more about understanding your unconscious mind and developing healthier coping mechanisms? Contact our experienced therapists at Analog Counseling today.

Unlocking the Unconscious: Understanding Our Hidden Coping Mechanisms

The unconscious might seem like a mysterious, complex part of our minds, but Dr. Mark Solms, a neuropsychologist and psychoanalyst, simplifies it for us. It's essentially the part of our brain that stores how we automatically coped with difficult situations in the past when we couldn’t do or cause what we really wanted. In that way, it is place in the brain where we hold memories of stress and the solutions we used that weren't actually solutions. Here's how it works:

When faced with a challenge, our first reaction is to seek help, showing signs of distress. If help doesn't come, we might try to fight the situation or run from it. And if those aren't options, we freeze, tapping into our deepest survival instinct.

For example, as infants, when left alone too early, we experience all kinds of distress in our body and cry for attention. If our needs aren't met, we eventually calm ourselves in a way that might seem like we're soothing ourselves, but it's actually a form of shutting down to cope with the stress (i.e. freeze). This process creates a mental template for what to expect in stress concerning our personal needs, what we believe about ourselves when we feel our needs and how to handle similar situations in the future. Only its a template that we don’t think we just feel. It’s automatic (i.e. unconscious).

As adults, then, when overwhelmed, we might find ourselves not asking for help, because deep down we think it won't come, that we’re unworthy so the best option is to freeze by trying to avoid the assumed reality of the situation altogether. We might distract ourselves (e.g. food, alcohol, sugar, sex, phones, TikTok, YouTube, shop, start a fight, exercise, get religious, etc.) or procrastinate, reducing our stress in the moment but affecting our productivity and relationships.

The key takeaway is that these responses aren't just “how you’re wired”; they're learned coping mechanisms from our earliest experiences (that we remember in felt convictions, actions and body but not in thoughts) that the modern science of neuroplasticity tells us can change (each person’s change potential is specific their unique situation). Recognizing and understanding these patterns can start us on the path to changing them. By becoming aware of and curious about the roots of our behaviors, we can learn what we really need and work to rewrite our story to one where we handle stress in healthier, more productive ways. This journey is about more than revisiting the past; it's about shaping a future where we're better equipped to face life's challenges.

To Recap:

• The unconscious is not what you think it is and it's not as mysterious as you think. Dr. Mark Solms says the unconscious is where we store our past attempts to tackle challenges, like a memory bank of our problem-solving efforts when we were stuck or in need.

• Our first reactions to stress, like seeking help, fighting, fleeing, or freezing, start early in life, like a baby's reflex to shut down when distressed. This shapes how we handle stress and view ourselves as adults.

• Realizing these coping methods are learned, not built-in, allows us to find healthier ways to manage stress, helping us change our life stories for the better.