Lack and Mental Health: Why We Always Feel Like Something is Missing

Mar 19

Why We Always Feel Like Something is Missing

Ever felt like something is always just out of reach? That no matter what you do, you still feel a little off? According to neuropsychoanalysis, this feeling isn’t a flaw—it’s actually how our brains are wired (Solms, 2021). The good news? Understanding this can help us work with it instead of fighting it.

Lack is Normal (Seriously, Everyone Feels It)

Our brains are built to keep us balanced, but life is always shifting. Think of it like a thermostat constantly adjusting to keep the room at a comfortable temperature. Just like that, our emotions let us know when we’re “off.” Feeling lonely? That’s your brain signaling that you need connection. Tired? Your body is telling you to rest. Instead of seeing these feelings as problems, we can view them as helpful signals guiding us toward balance (Solms, 2021).

Lack Makes Us Grow

If we never felt like we were missing something, we’d never move forward. The brain’s SEEKING system, discovered by Jaak Panksepp (1998), is what pushes us to explore, learn, and take action. Ever notice that chasing a goal often feels better than actually achieving it? That’s because our brains are wired to enjoy the pursuit, not just the finish line. This explains why we’re always looking for the next big thing—whether it’s a job, relationship, or new adventure.

The Cycle of Lack

Lack isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a loop that keeps us engaged with life. Here’s how it works:

You feel a need (hunger, loneliness, boredom).
You do something to fix it (eat, connect, find entertainment).
You feel better—for a while.
The need comes back.

This cycle isn’t about failure—it’s just how life works. Walter Brueggemann (1984) describes a similar pattern in the Psalms: orientation (things are good), disorientation (struggle), and reorientation (finding balance again). Understanding this helps us accept that we’re not broken—we’re just human.

References

Brueggemann, W. (1984). The Message of the Psalms: A Theological Commentary.
Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective Neuroscience: The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions.
Solms, M. (2021). The Hidden Spring: A Journey to the Source of Consciousness.

Aaron Mitchum