Two Common Misconceptions About Mental Health and How to Overcome Them

Hey there! Let's talk about two common misconceptions about mental health that can really get in the way of making real progress:

Misconception 1: Treating Symptoms Instead of the Root Cause

We often mistake the symptoms of mental health issues for the problem itself. So, we end up trying to manage these symptoms—like negative thoughts, anxiety, or depression—instead of digging deeper to understand what they actually represent. For example, these symptoms might be rooted in traumatic memories that have shaped how we respond to situations in the present. If we only focus on managing the symptoms, we're not addressing the underlying issues that cause them.

Misconception 2: Using Medical Metaphors for Mental Health

Another big misunderstanding comes from how we talk about mental health. You’ve probably heard people say, "I have anxiety" or "I have depression," like it’s something they’ve caught, similar to "I have a cold" or "I have a broken bone." This medical language implies that these mental states are static and abnormal, but that’s not really the case. Anxiety and depression are important and natural states that everyone experiences to some extent, and they fluctuate over time.

Even chronic states of suffering often indicate that the nervous system is responding exactly as it should, based on past trauma. The system is on high alert or shut down because it's unconsciously using old, trauma-based information to navigate current situations, which might not be helpful unless that same historical trauma is happening again.

The Bigger Picture

Of course, mental health is complex, and there are exceptions to these ideas. But generally speaking, shifting our focus from just managing symptoms to understanding and addressing their root causes, and rethinking how we conceptualize mental health, can make a big difference in our approach to healing and change.

Navigating Emotions: Understanding, Reacting, and Healing

It's a common tale: folks beating themselves up over their emotions and casting judgment on others for theirs. But here are two key points that could really help tackle this issue:

First off, feelings aren't a menu we pick from; they're automatic responses to our experiences. We can't choose what we feel, but we can choose how we react to those emotions. That's a lifelong skill, one that takes practice every day.

Secondly, what we feel isn't just about the present; it's also influenced by our past experiences. Our brains are wired to be efficient, always referencing past situations to inform our current feelings. But sometimes, especially in cases of trauma, what we remember isn't a solution, it's a coping mechanism. Coping doesn't let safety responses complete; it bypasses them, potentially causing more issues down the line.

So, how do we deal with all this? Well, judgment isn't the answer; it only makes things worse. Instead, we need empathy, compassion, and a mindfulness practice (and maybe some trauma therapy) to help us understand our emotions better and decide if our responses are the ones we want.

Navigating the Depths of Human Emotions: Understanding, Adapting, and Processing

Human Emotions
Emotions are both simple and complex, residing at the core of our human experience. At their essence, our brain houses seven fundamental emotional systems, intricately connected to our body's nervous system, giving rise to our basic emotional responses. These seminal emotions, as elucidated by pioneering affective neuroscientist Jack Penksepp, encompass lust, anger, excitement, panic, grief, fear, care, and joy. Antonio Damassio, another prominent neuroscientist, posits that emotions serve as feedback mechanisms, gauging our survival status. In essence, they are signals, indicating the sustainability and safety of our bodies, relationships, and environment, and guiding us on adaptive behaviors for survival.

However, uniquely as humans, we possess the neo cortex, a cognitive domain enabling us to override and suppress our primal emotions. This cerebral region facilitates higher-order functions like reasoning, reflection, and planning. Yet, when we stifle our emotions to conform to societal norms — refraining from reacting aggressively when provoked by our boss or withholding tears in public places — we inadvertently obstruct our access to their inherent wisdom and guidance.

Running in the Waves: A Lesson in Emotion and Adaptation
When my son was around five years old, we went to the beach on a family vacation. He was enjoying playing in the surf with his older cousin. With each rush of crashing waves, he'd dart into the water, only to be knocked over and then hurriedly return to my side. His little hand would reach out, seeking reassurance, before running back to rejoin his cousin's antics. What was going on? The force of the waves (and the sound of them) along with the brief moments submerged underwater scared him which signaled to him the potential danger of the situation. In order to adapt to survival he sought solace in my presence, finding comfort in the care and strength I offered. With this reassurance, he would gather the courage to venture back into the waves, joining his cousin in play. Without my presence, he would have been compelled to find alternative ways to confront his fear, perhaps abandoning the water altogether or suppressing his emotions (of not only fear but panic as well when he didn’t have an attachment figure to connect to), enduring a tense, disconnected experience. Such suppression could have left him with unresolved energy, hindering his ability to fully engage with his surroundings until addressed.

Summary

At the end of the day we have to acknowledge and honor our emotions, both primal and societal, without judgment. While it's essential to temper our instinctual reactions to practice love and maintain social harmony, we mustn't neglect the importance of acknowledging and processing our emotions in safe spaces, allowing them to complete their natural course. Emotions, akin to balloons, inflate with tension, urging us to take action in order to release the tension and restore equilibrium. In confronting anti-social impulses, rather than condemning them, we should approach them with empathy and support, facilitating their resolution in a nurturing environment.

what is religious & spiritual trauma or abuse?

When discussing spiritual or religious trauma/abuse, it's important to consider a few key points:

Language: Traditionally, this topic was often framed solely as abuse. However, there's been a shift towards using the term 'trauma' instead of 'abuse' to center the experience of the victim rather than the perpetrator. Additionally, it's essential to recognize that discussions around religious and spiritual trauma encompass various beliefs and identities. Whether someone identifies as religious, spiritual, or both, these terms are often used interchangeably in literature.

Transparency: Many individuals who have experienced religious/spiritual trauma have been part of environments characterized by high levels of control, often at the expense of transparency. Charisma often replaces transparency in these situations. Therefore, when discussing this type of trauma, I try to maintain transparency, cite sources, and minimize personal opinions to empower survivors.

Research: In terms of research (published materials that I could find from scholarly search engines when I did the search in 2022, personal contact with people who have researched and worked in this area as well as one podcast), much of what's available is qualitative, relying on personal narratives to identify common themes and understandings. Additionally, I have come across one quantitative research that employs mathematical and statistical methods to uncover patterns. Regardless of the type of research, since I'm not speaking to cults and sexual abuse from clergy, most studies involve small and often homogeneous groups, highlighting the need for more comprehensive and diverse research in this area.

Despite the available research, there's still no universally agreed-upon definition across the literature. (Ward, 2011; Swindle, 2017; Keller & Clark-Miller, 2022) This lack of consensus underscores the complexity of the topic. Below are a few definitions found in the literature:

Ward (2011) 'Spiritual abuse is a misuse of power in a spiritual context whereby spiritual authority is distorted to the detriment of those under its leadership. It is a multifaceted and multilayered experience that includes acts of commission and omission, aimed at producing conformity. It is both process and event, influencing one’s inner and outer worlds and has the potential to affect the biological, psychological, social and spiritual domains of the individual.'

Johnston (2021) 'Abuse and neglect are both traumatic experiences that disrupt the stability, order, and peace of everyday life, which affects the perception and sense of self, the sense of the world, the sense of others, and the sense of god that was believed before the traumatic experience.'

The Rise And Fall Of Mars Hill Podcast 'Spiritual abuse is what you call it when …someone leverages issues of eternal significance for power including the power to crush descent. It’s because people are invested in their spirituality so deeply that they are susceptible to the manipulations of someone who knows how to traffic in the language and emotions of religion and religious experience.'

To put these definitions a little more clearly, I'll recap them here in shorter and different language:

• Ward (2011) sees spiritual abuse as a misuse of power in religious settings, messing up people's lives in a bunch of different ways, from their inner feelings to how they interact with the world.

• Johnston (2021) says abuse and neglect mess with your sense of self, your relationships, and even your beliefs about the big questions in life.

• And then there's The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Podcast, which describes spiritual abuse as using religion to control and manipulate people.

Today I just wanted to lay a clear foundation for future discussions. While there's much more to explore regarding healing from these experiences, it's crucial to begin by defining our terms. By understanding the nuances of what we mean with words like spiritual and religious abuse and trauma, we can have a starting point from which to navigate these conversations with greater clarity and empathy.

References:

• Casper, M. (Host). The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. Christianity Today. [Podcast Link]

• Johnston, C. (2021). The Predictive Relationship Of Religious Trauma and Spiritual Abuse on Meaning-Making, Trust, and Depression. Doctoral dissertation, Northcentral University School of Social and Behavioral Health, La Jolla, CA.

• Keller, K. & Clark-Miller, A. (2022). Treating Religious Trauma. [Facebook Live]

• Levine, P. A. (2015). Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past: A Practical Guide for Understanding and Working with Traumatic Memory. North Atlantic.

• Levine, P. A., & Maté, G. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

• Swindle, Paula, J. (2017). A Twisting of the Sacred: The Lived Experience of Religious Abuse. ProQuest, LLC., Ann Arbor, MI.

• Ward, David, J. (2011). The Lived Experience of Spiritual Abuse. Routledge. [http:.dx.do i.org//10.10801136746-76.2010.336206]

What you need to know about defenses to make your life better

Making sure we know what’s in the Trojan Horse of our words

Words are more than just letters strung together; they're vessels of meaning. However, their effectiveness in communication relies on shared understanding. Consider the word "cool," which can mean temperature or admiration (“The water is cool - better turn the heater on.” vs. “The water is cool - I love the colors they put in.”), showcasing how meanings can shift subtly.

Similarly, psychological terms like "defense" have shifted beyond clinical contexts into everyday language, often losing their original nuances. "Defense," once describing an unconscious process to regulate unsolvable stress, now carries connotations of confrontation. We weaponize it to criticize someone by telling them they’re being defensive. Revisiting this term can unveil its profound significance in human functioning.

Two Fundamental Insights on Defenses:

1. Defenses Can Be Classified According To Developmental Stages. Many scholars, including famed psychoanalyst, Nancy McWilliams, have helped us understand that defenses evolve with age, mirroring our developmental stages. As our thinking and feeling abilities get more sophisticated so do our defenses. Usually this means our defenses are more pro-social and less isolating. However, when we encounter trauma when we’re young and we never get help for that we continue to use those younger defenses when facing similar stresses moving forward even as adults. For instance, consistent use of extreme withdrawal (an infantile defense) in adults can symbolize the need for trauma resolution. Of course given enough stress or limitations anybody may situationally regress to more primitive self protections.

2. Defenses Are Unconscious Self-Protection Processes: Defenses are automatic self-protective mechanisms, operating unconsciously to keep us safe. They shield us from recognizing and confronting uncomfortable emotions or threats that we feel helpless to solve. For instance, projection (another young defensive process) involves attributing our own feelings to others (e.g. “they’re mad, not me”), allowing us to avoid acknowledging and processing them ourselves. This process maintains a sense of security by dissociating us from alarming emotions. Without effort, we remain unaware of when, what, or how we're protecting ourselves. Through intentional work though, we can develop awareness of these aspects.

Embracing Defenses:

Defenses are not flaws; they're adaptive mechanisms ingrained in our survival. Rather than stigmatizing defensiveness, we should appreciate its role in safeguarding our well-being. Acknowledging past traumas and their influence on our defenses empowers us to cultivate awareness and choose adaptive responses. In kind, showing gentleness and curiosity towards others when they seem to be unaware goes a lot farther than accusation (accusation likely reveals we are feeling overwhelmed and engaging in a self protective process ourselves).

In essence, understanding the language of defenses fosters self-awareness and emotional growth, enabling us to navigate life's challenges with resilience and authenticity.