The Temptation of Judgment and the Ethics of the Other: A Reflection Through Levinas (and Beyond)
People want so desperately to control. Whether it’s a situation, an outcome, or another person’s reaction, we long for the comfort of predictability. But underneath this striving lies something more tender: a deep desire to feel safe, gratified, or simply at ease. Control is often less about dominance and more about protection.
The basic problem that brings people to therapy: Part One
I would wager that most of what brings people to therapy are emotional conflicts. Emotional conflicts are the results of some kind of trauma experience. When emotional conflicts come from growing up they are considered symbols of what’s called, developmental trauma (sometimes called “small ’t’ trauma”). When they are in connection to a shocking or harrowing moment or event they are considered symbols of what’s called, shock trauma (sometimes called “large ’T’ trauma”).
What you need to know about defenses to make your life better
What defenses actually has been lost in our culture. Understanding them can make your life so much better.
Rethinking Defensiveness: A Path to Mutual Understanding
The point is defensiveness is not bad the real issue is relating mutually. We fail to own our personal impact usually because we are insecure. Recognizing how we are contributing to a relational moment is not admitting some kind of objective failure or guilt or shame it’s simply recognizing WHAT might be happening not who is right and who is wrong.