Understanding emotions: a deeper look

Emotions are complex and intriguing aspects of our human experience. They're not inherently good or bad; they simply are. Let’s explore what emotions really entail and how they influence us.

The Purpose of Emotions

Dr. Antonio Damasio, a renowned neuroscientist, suggests that emotions are essential for our survival. They provide feedback about the health and sustainability of our bodies, our relationships, and our environments. Emotions prompt us to act, helping us adapt to our current circumstances and ultimately, relieve emotional tension. For instance, sadness might encourage us to seek comfort through tears or hugs, while anger might provoke reactions like yelling or expressing frustration physically.

The Basics of Emotions

Emotions start as physical sensations in our body, akin to how our body regulates temperature. If emotional stimuli are too intense or too subtle, they cross a threshold, making us aware of our feelings. These sensations—like a twist in your stomach or a flutter in your heart—can evolve into conscious emotions if they're not overwhelming or suppressed due to fear.

Emotions and Trauma

Trauma can trap emotions in the physical body, leading to avoidance of bodily awareness. This avoidance is a defense mechanism against re-experiencing discomfort or pain.

Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness

While emotions are crucial for survival and adaptation, not all emotional reactions are beneficial in a social context. Some can isolate us or cause trouble. Moreover, trauma can skew our perception of the present, making us relive past threats and perpetuate pain. This highlights the importance of being both attentive to and cautious with our emotions.

The Brain’s Pathways for Emotions

Our brains process emotions in two main ways: the slow road and the fast road. The slow road involves thought and reflection before action, allowing us time to assess whether our responses are appropriate. The fast road is instinctive and immediate, driven by primal urges. Both pathways are adaptive, depending on the situation.

Navigating Trauma and the Present

By spending time with ourselves, we can learn to distinguish between being present and operating automatically—a mode often influenced by past trauma. Mindfulness—recognizing how we feel, rather than simply experiencing emotions—empowers us to differentiate between past triggers and present realities.

Practicing mindfulness isn't an instant solution but a gradual process that builds the awareness necessary to make conscious choices. This awareness can lead to new behaviors and healthier automatic responses that are more aligned with our current needs.

In Conclusion

Emotions are not just reactions but signals that guide us through the complexities of life. By understanding and managing them, we can lead more fulfilling and adaptive lives.

Are you isolating others and yourself and not knowing it?

When we are uncomfortable/insecure with certain emotions we unconsciously keep ourselves from knowing that we are feeling them. However, they still get communicated. Probably the most common way is what we usually call passive aggressiveness. Another way that’s becoming more common is sometimes called “toxic positivity”. People feel good when they are engaged authentically (albeit respectfully). Lots of reasons cause emotional conflict (e.g. religion, workplace politics, gender pressures, etc.) but they all come down to fear. We feel anxious to know about how we feel because we predict we will feel bad (maybe overwhelmed or guilty or ashamed) and others will have a hurtful reaction to us. If you find yourself always avoiding conflict you may wonder if you really are avoiding bothering people and having a negative effect on your relationships? People organically feel when someone is being honest with them (and themselves). The more people feel passivity in place of genuine emotion the more they feel isolated when with you. This is because they don’t feel resonated with as an emotional person. Over time that creates unconscious reactions to you that will cause people to avoid bringing things up to you. You will cut yourself out of the communication. So, if avoiding conflict is a problem for you maybe some self work is needed so you can give yourself the best chance for connection in the future.