The three pillars of mental health change

Memory, Completion & Mindfulness are the three pillars for deep and lasting change in mental health and the thing that ties them all together is emotions.

Memory

Our brains love to automate tasks to save energy. But sometimes, in tough situations like trauma, the solutions we learn aren't really solutions at all. Instead, we cope to get through. While coping helps us survive, it doesn't fix things. Our brains then remember this coping as the solution. So, when similar situations arise, our brains automatically activate this coping mechanism. This means we feel and react the same way we did during the trauma. Luckily, memories can change. By recalling and feeling them, they change back into a form where we can alter how they affect us*. This is crucial for changing trauma reactions, whether from past hurts or sudden shocks.

Completion

When we feel threatened, our instincts kick in with fight, flight, or freeze responses. But often, these responses don't get a chance to finish. All that energy gets stuck in our bodies, waiting to be released. Releasing this pent-up energy is essential for our nervous system to regain its balance. This can lead to improvements in anxiety and depression.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps us distinguish between the present and the past. It allows us to observe tension without reacting impulsively. By practicing mindfulness, we can slow down and become our best selves. This skill improves with practice and repetition.

Emotions tie all these elements together. They start as physical sensations and evolve into conscious feelings like fear, joy, or anger. Emotions tell us how important a moment is for survival and give us insight into our current state of being.

In conclusion, memory, completion, and mindfulness are vital for deep and lasting change in mental health. By understanding and working with our emotions, we can unlock new levels of well-being and resilience.

*This process is called Memory Reconsolidation and it became known widely from the lab of the famous neuroscientist Joseph Le Doux It was his student Karim Nader who discovered this.

Getting past the breakers: finding and taming your emotions

By: Aaron Mitchum

Growing up in Kansas, as a skateboard kid of the nineties, the southern California surf and skate culture was the dream. So it was no surprise that I set my sites on going to college in LA. When I arrived at university I became obsessed with learning how to surf. I went twice a week for two years. My friends and I would wake up at 4:30a Tuesdays and Thursdays and drive 45 minutes out to Huntington and Newport Beach to surf before class. Alas though no matter how hard I tried I never got good at surfing. To this day I suck at surfing. It wasn’t a loss though, I did learn something. I learned about getting past the breakers. The breakers are the part where waves crash. To surf you have to get behind that part to where the swells come in before they become waves. That’s where you can catch the waves as they form. Getting past the breakers can be really hard. They push you back. They push under. You take on water. You get disoriented. You get cold, it’s exhausting and a little scary. As you are ducking and diving the crashing waves everything in your senses is saying “this is clearly not a good idea”. It’s a lot like learning to access your emotions when you have really struggled with that or like learning to tame your emotions when you’ve really struggled with that. It just feels like going against the momentum and it’s hard to intuitively feel why it’s worth it.

When I finally did get past the breakers though it all became clear. I had a totally different experience. Things got calm. My perspective changed. I could see and feel why it was worth it. Sitting out past the breakers, taking in the sun rise and being with my friends are some of my favorite memories in life (this was all just before I would try to actually ride a wave and totally eat it in front of everyone, revealing my midwest roots). Getting access to your emotions or healing emotional overwhelm is like getting past the breakers. It’s not quite as final as that, we are always in a process (there are always going to be breakers to swim past) but it is similar in that you almost have to go through it to understand what it has to offer you. Finding the energy and vibrancy of a rich emotional life will help you feel alive and authentic in new ways. Likewise, finding the strength to heal emotional overwhelm leaves you feeling empowered to take on life in courageous new ways. Both require getting past the breakers though. So if you’re in the struggle (and the struggle is real make no mistake) know you are not alone and take hope, there is another side.