Unlocking the Hidden Language of Emotions: How Wearable Technology Can Help Us Understand Our Deeper Feelings

Many of us struggle to identify and name our emotions, particularly when we've experienced trauma, grew up in environments where emotions weren't acknowledged, or simply weren't taught the language of feelings. This challenge is especially prevalent among men, who often face cultural pressure to suppress emotional awareness, and individuals with insecure attachment patterns, who may have learned to disconnect from their emotional experiences.

But what if technology could help us bridge this gap in emotional awareness?

The Science Behind Our Emotions

Dr. Jaak Panksepp, a pioneer in affective neuroscience, identified seven basic emotional systems that all mammals share: SEEKING, FEAR, RAGE, LUST, CARE, PANIC/GRIEF, and PLAY (capitalized to distinguish them as specific systems). These systems operate largely beneath our conscious awareness, yet they profoundly influence our behavior, relationships, and well-being.

Here's where modern technology offers a fascinating possibility: while we may not consciously recognize when these systems activate, our bodies tell the story through measurable physiological changes.

How Wearable Technology Can Help

Today's wearable devices can track various physiological markers that correlate with emotional states:

• Heart rate variability (HRV) patterns can indicate stress, fear, or social engagement

• Skin conductance changes can signal emotional arousal

• Movement patterns can reveal seeking or play behaviors

• Sleep disruptions might indicate activation of the panic/grief system

• Temperature variations can correlate with emotional states

For someone who struggles to identify their emotions, these biological markers can serve as objective signals that something significant is happening internally.

Real-World Applications in Therapy

Consider Mark (name changed), a client who reported feeling "fine" despite significant life challenges. His wearable device showed patterns of decreased HRV and disrupted sleep, typical indicators of an activated FEAR or PANIC/GRIEF system. This data provided an entry point for deeper therapeutic exploration, eventually helping Mark recognize and process feelings of abandonment he'd been unconsciously suppressing.

Particularly Valuable For:

1. Trauma Survivors

• Many trauma survivors experience alexithymia – difficulty identifying and expressing emotions

• Wearable data can help them reconnect with their bodies' signals

• Provides objective validation of their emotional experiences

1. Men and Emotional Awareness

• Cultural conditioning often disconnects men from emotional awareness

• Technology offers a "concrete" way to approach emotional exploration

• Data-driven insights can feel more accessible than abstract emotional concepts

1. Insecure Attachment Patterns

• People with insecure attachment often struggle to trust their emotional experiences

• Wearable data can provide a "secure base" for emotional exploration

• Helps build confidence in identifying and expressing feelings

Practical Implementation

While consumer wearables can't definitively identify specific emotional systems, they can track important indicators:

• Basic smartwatches can monitor heart rate and sleep patterns

• More advanced devices can track HRV and skin conductance

• Regular patterns in this data can help identify emotional triggers and responses

Using This Information in Therapy

1. Emotional Pattern Recognition

• Review device data during therapy sessions

• Identify correlations between physiological patterns and life events

• Develop awareness of personal emotional signatures

1. Building Emotional Vocabulary

• Use device data as a starting point for discussing feelings

• Connect physiological states to emotional experiences

• Develop more nuanced emotional awareness

1. Validation and Support

• Objective data can validate emotional experiences

• Helps overcome shame or doubt about emotional responses

• Supports the development of self-trust

Important Considerations

While wearable technology offers exciting possibilities for emotional awareness, it's important to remember:

• Technology supplements, but doesn't replace, therapeutic work

• Individual patterns vary significantly

• Data should be interpreted within the broader context of a person's life

• Privacy and data security should be carefully considered

Moving Forward

As wearable technology continues to advance, its potential for supporting emotional awareness grows. For therapists and clients alike, these tools offer a new bridge between the unconscious emotional systems Panksepp identified and our conscious experience.

By combining traditional therapeutic approaches with the insights provided by wearable technology, we can help people – especially those who struggle with emotional awareness – develop a deeper understanding of their emotional lives and build more satisfying relationships with themselves and others.

The journey to emotional awareness may be complex, but with these new tools, we have additional pathways to understanding our deeper selves.

The basic problem that brings people to therapy: Part One

Emotional Conflicts, defenses and the dynamic unconscious

I would wager that most of what brings people to therapy are emotional conflicts. Emotional conflicts are the results of some kind of trauma experience. When emotional conflicts come from growing up they are considered symbols of what’s called, developmental trauma (sometimes called “small ’t’ trauma”). When they are in connection to a shocking or harrowing moment or event they are considered symbols of what’s called, shock trauma (sometimes called “large ’T’ trauma”). 

Here’s what I mean, at some point we have an emotion or set of emotions and are in need but when we express them or try to express them it doesn’t go well. Maybe they get us nothing of support, maybe they get us criticized or attacked maybe they get us ignored. When this happens the first thing we’ll feel is panic. If our panic response doesn’t result in people re-adjusting and supporting us then we feel helpless and alone (and still in need). Any of those ill tuned responses likely will also cause us to feel shame on top of the unrelieved stress we are already feeling. If that happens strong enough (i.e. shock trauma) or enough times (i.e. the “death by a thousand paper cuts” of developmental trauma) we remember it and adjust in the future. So we learn to feel alarmed when those emotions happen again because we fear getting hurt again and we also learn to automatically feel bad about ourselves when those feelings happen, as if there is something wrong with us (i.e. we re-experience the shame that we felt then). That is an emotional conflict. 

Coping with emotional conflict

So how does our body and mind deal with emotional conflict? Well, we can’t control what we feel but we can protect ourselves from feelings we fear get us hurt. We do this by using something called dissociation. This is basically a way to distract ourselves and not know what we’re feeling. Another word for these distractions or dissociation is defenses. 

Defenses

Defenses can be internal or external or both. When they are internal they involve a distortion of reality. We may feel that everything is our fault, or someone else’s fault, we may attribute our emotions to someone else (e.g. “I’m not angry, you’re angry”), we may feel paranoid, we may feel very helpless and just retreat and hide (this could include going numb emotionally), we may feel like someone or the situation is all good or all bad, we may under weigh the severity of the situation or over weight it, etc. External distractions may be the use of substances, shopping, eating, exercising, work, sex, creating drama, and of course the ever present phone in our pocket beckoning us to scroll just a little more, etc. Defenses correlate to what age we were when we first had to cope with this emotional conflict. Diagnostically, this is helpful because certain defenses can give clues to when a trauma may have happened in the lifespan. Think of it this way, if you are a baby you only have so many ways to protect yourself, you are pretty helpless, so things like denial of reality, rage, or extreme withdrawal or closing your eyes and hiding somehow are kind of the best you can do. Additionally, if you take on intense shame as a baby it really hinders your ability to grow healthy self esteem (e.g. you might develop a more fragile sense of self and be prone to addiction, deep humiliation and/or fits of rage when you feel too vulnerable). Likewise, if you experience something later in life you have more tools available to cope (both with the stress and the shame). For example, you might learn to tell jokes instead of feeling the emotions.

Summary

Basically, when you experience an emotional suffering you can’t solve you have to cope somehow to survive. That coping distracts you from the real needs you feel. In this way coping doesn’t really solve the issue but it does help you get through it. When that happens it’s that coping that gets recorded and remembered in the body and mind. So the next time you feel that way it is the coping that is used to get through it again (even if you’re not really in the same situation again). This becomes habit and eventually automatic and, over time, part of your personality. Another way to talk about things that are automatic (like defenses or coping) is that they are unconscious. So, defenses are automatic or unconscious. We don’t know when they are occurring. This is worth repeating. We don’t know when they are occurring. Our view of reality slips from in tune to a distortion based on past pains in the blink of an eye. We still think we are seeing clearly when we are actually seeing the past. No matter the current reality we see threat. This protects us from feeling the vulnerable emotions evoked that are marked as threatening because originally when we had those feelings we got hurt. This is the point of defenses, they help our system feel calm when we are experiencing upsetting emotions that we don’t know how to solve for. 

The Hidden Impact of Unresolved Fight, Flight, or Freeze Responses

When our natural threat response cycle is interrupted, it can easily be mistaken for other issues. By understanding the threat response cycle that all mammals experience, we can gain better insight into our reactions and overall mental health.

What is the Threat Response Cycle?

Imagine you're out for a walk and you hear a twig snap, or you see an unexpected movement out of the corner of your eye. Maybe you’re at work and you get an alert for an impromptu meeting, etc. These instances kick off a process known as the threat response cycle:

1. Notice Something New: This could be any sudden change in your environment—sounds, smells, sights, or even digital notifications.

2. Orient to the Novelty: Your attention shifts to this new stimulus.

3. Assess for Danger: Instinctively and automatically, your brain evaluates whether this new thing poses a threat.

4. Activate Response: If it’s deemed dangerous (this is not a conscious decision), your body kicks into one of the three F’s: fight, flight, or freeze.

5. Return to Normal: If it’s not a threat (like realizing that "snake" is actually just a garden hose), your body relaxes, and you return to your normal state.

But what happens if your response to a threat gets interrupted? Say, you feel intense anger but can't express it, or you're scared but can’t escape. If your fight, flight, or freeze response isn’t completed, that energy gets stuck in your system.

Why Does This Matter?

Unresolved fight, flight, or freeze responses can cause various issues. They might be mistaken for problems with self-control, personality flaws, or even physical ailments. For instance, feeling inexplicably anxious or irritable could be the result of a stuck fight or flight response, not a personal failing.

Understanding this cycle is crucial for mental health. It helps us recognize that these reactions are natural and part of our biology. Completing these responses, even if it's after the fact through therapeutic practices, can help us return to a state of balance. Somatic Experiencing is an effective way to do this.

Final Thoughts

Recognizing and addressing stuck fight, flight, or freeze responses is essential for mental and physical well-being. By understanding this natural cycle, we can better navigate our reactions to stress and create more room for healing and growth. If you think unresolved responses might be affecting you, talking to a counselor can be a great step toward resolving these issues and finding peace.

Two Common Misconceptions About Mental Health and How to Overcome Them

Hey there! Let's talk about two common misconceptions about mental health that can really get in the way of making real progress:

Misconception 1: Treating Symptoms Instead of the Root Cause

We often mistake the symptoms of mental health issues for the problem itself. So, we end up trying to manage these symptoms—like negative thoughts, anxiety, or depression—instead of digging deeper to understand what they actually represent. For example, these symptoms might be rooted in traumatic memories that have shaped how we respond to situations in the present. If we only focus on managing the symptoms, we're not addressing the underlying issues that cause them.

Misconception 2: Using Medical Metaphors for Mental Health

Another big misunderstanding comes from how we talk about mental health. You’ve probably heard people say, "I have anxiety" or "I have depression," like it’s something they’ve caught, similar to "I have a cold" or "I have a broken bone." This medical language implies that these mental states are static and abnormal, but that’s not really the case. Anxiety and depression are important and natural states that everyone experiences to some extent, and they fluctuate over time.

Even chronic states of suffering often indicate that the nervous system is responding exactly as it should, based on past trauma. The system is on high alert or shut down because it's unconsciously using old, trauma-based information to navigate current situations, which might not be helpful unless that same historical trauma is happening again.

The Bigger Picture

Of course, mental health is complex, and there are exceptions to these ideas. But generally speaking, shifting our focus from just managing symptoms to understanding and addressing their root causes, and rethinking how we conceptualize mental health, can make a big difference in our approach to healing and change.

what is religious & spiritual trauma or abuse?

When discussing spiritual or religious trauma/abuse, it's important to consider a few key points:

Language: Traditionally, this topic was often framed solely as abuse. However, there's been a shift towards using the term 'trauma' instead of 'abuse' to center the experience of the victim rather than the perpetrator. Additionally, it's essential to recognize that discussions around religious and spiritual trauma encompass various beliefs and identities. Whether someone identifies as religious, spiritual, or both, these terms are often used interchangeably in literature.

Transparency: Many individuals who have experienced religious/spiritual trauma have been part of environments characterized by high levels of control, often at the expense of transparency. Charisma often replaces transparency in these situations. Therefore, when discussing this type of trauma, I try to maintain transparency, cite sources, and minimize personal opinions to empower survivors.

Research: In terms of research (published materials that I could find from scholarly search engines when I did the search in 2022, personal contact with people who have researched and worked in this area as well as one podcast), much of what's available is qualitative, relying on personal narratives to identify common themes and understandings. Additionally, I have come across one quantitative research that employs mathematical and statistical methods to uncover patterns. Regardless of the type of research, since I'm not speaking to cults and sexual abuse from clergy, most studies involve small and often homogeneous groups, highlighting the need for more comprehensive and diverse research in this area.

Despite the available research, there's still no universally agreed-upon definition across the literature. (Ward, 2011; Swindle, 2017; Keller & Clark-Miller, 2022) This lack of consensus underscores the complexity of the topic. Below are a few definitions found in the literature:

Ward (2011) 'Spiritual abuse is a misuse of power in a spiritual context whereby spiritual authority is distorted to the detriment of those under its leadership. It is a multifaceted and multilayered experience that includes acts of commission and omission, aimed at producing conformity. It is both process and event, influencing one’s inner and outer worlds and has the potential to affect the biological, psychological, social and spiritual domains of the individual.'

Johnston (2021) 'Abuse and neglect are both traumatic experiences that disrupt the stability, order, and peace of everyday life, which affects the perception and sense of self, the sense of the world, the sense of others, and the sense of god that was believed before the traumatic experience.'

The Rise And Fall Of Mars Hill Podcast 'Spiritual abuse is what you call it when …someone leverages issues of eternal significance for power including the power to crush descent. It’s because people are invested in their spirituality so deeply that they are susceptible to the manipulations of someone who knows how to traffic in the language and emotions of religion and religious experience.'

To put these definitions a little more clearly, I'll recap them here in shorter and different language:

• Ward (2011) sees spiritual abuse as a misuse of power in religious settings, messing up people's lives in a bunch of different ways, from their inner feelings to how they interact with the world.

• Johnston (2021) says abuse and neglect mess with your sense of self, your relationships, and even your beliefs about the big questions in life.

• And then there's The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Podcast, which describes spiritual abuse as using religion to control and manipulate people.

Today I just wanted to lay a clear foundation for future discussions. While there's much more to explore regarding healing from these experiences, it's crucial to begin by defining our terms. By understanding the nuances of what we mean with words like spiritual and religious abuse and trauma, we can have a starting point from which to navigate these conversations with greater clarity and empathy.

References:

• Casper, M. (Host). The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. Christianity Today. [Podcast Link]

• Johnston, C. (2021). The Predictive Relationship Of Religious Trauma and Spiritual Abuse on Meaning-Making, Trust, and Depression. Doctoral dissertation, Northcentral University School of Social and Behavioral Health, La Jolla, CA.

• Keller, K. & Clark-Miller, A. (2022). Treating Religious Trauma. [Facebook Live]

• Levine, P. A. (2015). Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past: A Practical Guide for Understanding and Working with Traumatic Memory. North Atlantic.

• Levine, P. A., & Maté, G. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

• Swindle, Paula, J. (2017). A Twisting of the Sacred: The Lived Experience of Religious Abuse. ProQuest, LLC., Ann Arbor, MI.

• Ward, David, J. (2011). The Lived Experience of Spiritual Abuse. Routledge. [http:.dx.do i.org//10.10801136746-76.2010.336206]