Transference In The Work Place
Transference is when a present moment is read by the brain as being the same as a moment in the past and then treated as if it was the past. Meaning, the ways we coped, the ways we felt, how acted and how we understood the moment are imported from the past. This happens all the time, it’s why we can automate so much of our lives. Most of our life is not lived in the present moment, it is lived in what McGilchrist calls re-presented. We are experiencing our own reconstruction of life that is based on what we’ve learned and predict from those memories and models. The type of transference I’m talking about however is more relational based. This type of transference is noticed when either it reveals unprocessed memories in which we were in some kind of survival mode or when it reveals memories of unmet developmental desires. With survival moments we see people treat the present as a threat at some level when it really isn’t. With developmental desire moments we see people treat the present as something to harvest when it’s more than just that. Both are unconscious processes (unless the work is done to be aware of such phenomenon) and not always easy to decipher.
For example, if a co-worker launches into taking up all the space in a meeting it might mean they are unconsciously in a survival based moment in which they are working to control the situation through avoiding silence and other’s reactions in order to avoid feeling abandoned. Such unconscious behavior would help them feel more safe. Or it could mean they have become excited about the possibility of feeling seen and validated which unconsciously leaves them trying to resume getting natural unmet developmental needs satisfied. Either way, it derails the meeting.
If this kind of transference is not understood and helped it becomes limiting to our professional and personal lives. It’s also why I suggest we stop calling companies families. It suggests something that isn’t true (companies are motivated by profit, families are motivated by relationship) and that can unnecessarily provoke transference.
Next I’ll talk about counter-transference in the work place...