Counter-Transference In The Work Place

In a previous article, I described transference in the work place. In this one I will describe the other side of the coin, counter-transference.

Counter-transferences are the reactions we have to the unconscious beliefs, emotions and desires being communicated implicitly through another person’s behavior. It can be empathy based or authenticity based. Meaning, you can experience the way the person is feeling in reaction to them (likely you feel more of their feelings and have a deeper sense of understanding and compassion for them) or you can feel how it feels to be treated the way they are treating you (you could feel great about about being idealized for example or really annoyed if you’re being treated like you don’t matter, etc.). Counter transference is unconscious (again without practiced awareness) and can be problematic if it causes you to engage in a drama of the past (e.g. perhaps you unwittingly take on the role of a parent with someone who needed more care than they got and so look to you for guidance. This might activate you're own unconscious adaptive strategies from childhood in which you pleased/entertained/cared for others as a way to experience emotional security. Re-engaging in such a drama replays how you had to be more responsible than your parents and causes you to struggle with your own personal boundaries around your time and effort - working longer and harder than you should. You once again might be stuffing anger and unwittingly be trying to please [i.e. control] the person who unconsciously is communicating unprocessed emotions of need by intensely needing your mentorship. These kind of enactments usually work for sometime until the authentic needs of the one being idealized clash with the unconscious needs of the one being mentored. Such ruptures are confusing because they can reveal upset emotions and even lashing out over reasonable boundaries.)

So, counter-transference is the emotional reactions we have to the unconscious and implicit expression of emotions and needs from another. Depending on the dynamics it can create re-enactments of insecure relating. Knowing how to identify and compassionately help transference/counter-transference can give your work culture a great advantage.