Understanding Inner Attention: A Path to Emotional Awareness
In a previous post we talked about attention out. In this post we’ll talk about attention in.
Have you ever noticed how you're constantly aware of your inner experiences - feeling anxious before a presentation, or bored during a long meeting? This natural awareness is what we call "attention inward." While we all do this automatically throughout our day, there's a deeper, more intentional way of turning our attention inward that's used in therapeutic approaches like Somatic Experiencing. This specialized practice can reveal insights about ourselves that usually remain hidden.
How Emotions Guide Us
Dr. Mark Solms's research helps us understand that emotions aren't just feelings - they're sophisticated guidance systems that help us survive and thrive. Think of emotions as messengers carrying important information. When we feel sad, for instance, that sadness is telling us we've lost something meaningful. More importantly, it's guiding us toward natural ways to heal: crying, seeking comfort from loved ones, or taking time for self-care.
But what happens when we can't follow these natural emotional pathways? Maybe we grew up learning that "big kids don't cry" or that showing vulnerability is weakness. When this happens, we develop coping mechanisms - like pushing the feeling away, distracting ourselves, or rationalizing why we shouldn't feel that way. Over time, these coping strategies become so automatic that we mistake them for our natural responses. It's like creating a detour around a blocked road and eventually forgetting the original route altogether.
A Different Way of Paying Attention
This is where intentional inner attention becomes valuable. By carefully observing our internal experience, we can reconnect with our authentic emotional responses that have been masked by years of coping strategies. Somatic Experiencing offers a helpful framework for this kind of attention through the SIBAM model:
Sensations: Physical feelings in your body (butterflies in your stomach, chest tightness, warmth, tingling)
Images: Mental pictures or memories that arise
Behaviors: Natural impulses to move or react
Affect: Conscious emotional experiences
Meaning: Our thoughts and interpretations
In our thinking-focused culture, we often jump straight to meaning-making - trying to analyze and understand before we've fully experienced our emotions. However, if we can learn to pause and first notice our bodily sensations, images, and impulses, we often discover clearer and more authentic information about our emotional needs.
This patient, body-first approach helps us bypass our habitual coping mechanisms and reconnect with our natural emotional wisdom. By learning to pay attention in this way, we can begin to untangle the difference between our authentic responses and our learned coping strategies.