Understanding Inner Attention: A Path to Emotional Awareness
Have you ever noticed how you're constantly aware of your inner experiences - feeling anxious before a presentation, or bored during a long meeting? This natural awareness is what we call "attention inward." While we all do this automatically throughout our day, there's a deeper, more intentional way of turning our attention inward that's used in therapeutic approaches like Somatic Experiencing. This specialized practice can reveal insights about ourselves that usually remain hidden.
In a previous post we talked about attention out. In this post we’ll talk about attention in.
Have you ever noticed how you're constantly aware of your inner experiences - feeling anxious before a presentation, or bored during a long meeting? This natural awareness is what we call "attention inward." While we all do this automatically throughout our day, there's a deeper, more intentional way of turning our attention inward that's used in therapeutic approaches like Somatic Experiencing. This specialized practice can reveal insights about ourselves that usually remain hidden.
How Emotions Guide Us
Dr. Mark Solms's research helps us understand that emotions aren't just feelings - they're sophisticated guidance systems that help us survive and thrive. Think of emotions as messengers carrying important information. When we feel sad, for instance, that sadness is telling us we've lost something meaningful. More importantly, it's guiding us toward natural ways to heal: crying, seeking comfort from loved ones, or taking time for self-care.
But what happens when we can't follow these natural emotional pathways? Maybe we grew up learning that "big kids don't cry" or that showing vulnerability is weakness. When this happens, we develop coping mechanisms - like pushing the feeling away, distracting ourselves, or rationalizing why we shouldn't feel that way. Over time, these coping strategies become so automatic that we mistake them for our natural responses. It's like creating a detour around a blocked road and eventually forgetting the original route altogether.
A Different Way of Paying Attention
This is where intentional inner attention becomes valuable. By carefully observing our internal experience, we can reconnect with our authentic emotional responses that have been masked by years of coping strategies. Somatic Experiencing offers a helpful framework for this kind of attention through the SIBAM model:
Sensations: Physical feelings in your body (butterflies in your stomach, chest tightness, warmth, tingling)
Images: Mental pictures or memories that arise
Behaviors: Natural impulses to move or react
Affect: Conscious emotional experiences
Meaning: Our thoughts and interpretations
In our thinking-focused culture, we often jump straight to meaning-making - trying to analyze and understand before we've fully experienced our emotions. However, if we can learn to pause and first notice our bodily sensations, images, and impulses, we often discover clearer and more authentic information about our emotional needs.
This patient, body-first approach helps us bypass our habitual coping mechanisms and reconnect with our natural emotional wisdom. By learning to pay attention in this way, we can begin to untangle the difference between our authentic responses and our learned coping strategies.
Understanding Your Body's Alert System: A Guide to Feeling Safer in Everyday Life
Ever notice how your body reacts when you open a stressful email or get into an argument? That racing heart, those tense shoulders - these aren't random reactions. They're part of your body's natural alert system called the threat response cycle, and understanding this system can change your life in wonderful ways.
Ever notice how your body reacts when you open a stressful email or get into an argument? That racing heart, those tense shoulders - these aren't random reactions. They're part of your body's natural alert system called the threat response cycle, and understanding this system can change your life in wonderful ways.
Your Built-In Safety System
Think of your body as having a special safety alarm, an instinct for safety. Just like our ancestors needed this alarm to stay safe from wild animals, we use it today in our modern world. This system kicks in when:
Reading a difficult email
Sitting through a tense meeting
Having a disagreement with someone you love
Walking into a crowded restaurant
Even chatting with a friend when a sensitive topic comes up
The Threat Response Cycle
Why Understanding This Matters
When you know how your alert system works, you gain a superpower: the ability to pause and check if you really need to be on high alert. Sometimes your alarm might go off when you're actually safe, like feeling panicked about giving a presentation to friendly colleagues. Other times, you might not notice real warning signs when you should, like staying in an unhealthy situation for too long.
Taking Back Control
The good news? Once you recognize when your alert system is active, you can:
Take a moment to pause
Look around and check if there's a real reason for concern
Choose how to respond rather than just react
Return to feeling calm and present when you realize you're safe
This awareness helps you move through your day with more peace and confidence. Instead of being controlled by automatic reactions, you can choose how to respond to life's challenges.
Remember: Your alert system isn't your enemy - it's trying to protect you! Learning to work with it, rather than against it, can help you feel more in control and at peace in your daily life.
Finding Peace Through 'Attention Out': A Simple First Step to Feeling Better
When you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, your first instinct might be to dive deep into your thoughts and feelings. While this is completely natural, there's actually a gentler way to begin your healing journey. It's called "attention out," and it's simpler than you might think.
In another post we talk about attention In. In this post we’ll talk about attention out.
When you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, your first instinct might be to dive deep into your thoughts and feelings. While this is completely natural, there's actually a gentler way to begin your healing journey. It's called "attention out," and it's simpler than you might think.
What is "Attention Out"?
Think of your attention like a flashlight. You can shine it inward (on your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations) or outward (on the world around you). Both are important, but learning to focus outward first can help you feel more grounded and safe.
Why Start with Looking Outward?
When you first come to counseling, you might want to jump right in and talk about everything that's troubling you. That's completely normal! But starting with "attention out" first is like giving your mind a gentle reset button. It helps your body recognize that right now, in this moment, you're safe.
How to Practice "Attention Out": A Simple Exercise
Here's a simple practice called "orienting" that you can try right now. Orienting is a part of a larger instinct for safety called, the threat response cycle.
Find a comfortable spot to sit
Let your eyes wander naturally around your surroundings
Notice what catches your attention - maybe it's a color, a shape, or an object
Don't worry about why something catches your eye - just let your gaze move freely
Try to set aside your thoughts for a moment and just focus on what you see
What You Might Experience
When you practice this, you might notice some natural changes:
Your breathing might become deeper
Colors might seem brighter
Your body might feel more relaxed
You might feel more present in the moment
These are all signs that your body is finding its natural balance.
Why This Works
Your body has a natural ability to heal and find balance. Sometimes it just needs a little help remembering how. "Attention out" is like giving your nervous system a gentle reminder that it can relax and reset (Levine, 1997; 2010).
Remember: This might feel strange at first, and that's okay! Like any new skill, it takes practice. The key is to be patient with yourself as you learn this new way of finding calm.
Beyond Talk Therapy: Discovering Somatic Experiencing
There's a special way to help with feelings that are hard to access or even know about. It's called Somatic Experiencing.
Why We Think and Talk
We think and talk for lots of reasons. One of those reasons is to feel better. Let's explore this more.
How Thinking and Talking Help Us
When we feel something strong inside, we want to let it out. This brings us relief and contributes to our life. Here are some examples:
- When we're sad, talking to someone helps us feel less sad and understand ourselves better
- When we're angry, we might want to rant to someone about what's bothering us, think about how to solve what’s bothering us and maybe even fantasize about what we could have done differently, all in an attempt to feel less angry.
- When we do something good, we want to share it with others, this helps us feel more whole and happy.
- When we’re intrigued about something we think about what’s grabbed our attention in order to enjoy the exploration and hopefully to eventually feel the relief of understanding
Our feelings are like messages from our body. They tell us what is going on and what we need to feel better and live happier lives.
Why Some Feelings Are Hard to Notice or Talk About
Sometimes when we share our feelings, things don't go well. Maybe someone didn't listen, or we got hurt. When this happens, we might start automatically hiding these feelings, even from ourselves and even before we know we’re having them. This can make us feel worse over time. They can even cause us to misunderstand the present, to confuse our current situation with the past and react poorly because of that. With feelings that are stuck, out of our awareness and causing us problems talking and thinking alone are about the slowest ways there are to feel better. And often then only keep us stuck.
A Different Way to Feel Better
There's a special way to help with feelings that are hard to access or even know about. It's called Somatic Experiencing. Instead of just talking, we:
- Pay attention to your body and the sensations inside
- Allow some of the movements from spontaneous impulses in the body
- Learn how to navigate activation and de-activation in the body which helps you deal with stuck, pent up feelings little by little instead of in an overwhelming way.
- Empowers you
- Plus much more
Someone trained in Somatic Experiencing helps you do this safely. They teach you how to listen to your body and understand what it's telling you. While you still talk about your feelings, you also learn to feel them in a way that's comfortable and safe. This brings things that are unconscious to the light of day and lets them out so you feel better and live easier.
All of which helps you find answers that come from deep inside yourself, making you feel more sure about what you need.
A great article in the nyt on somatic experiencing!
This article explores the concept of somatic therapy, which focuses on healing emotional wounds through the body.
Illustration by Daniel Barreto
New York Times Article on Somatic Experiencing Link
The article explores the concept of somatic therapy, which focuses on healing emotional wounds through the body. The author describes their personal experience with a therapist who uses somatic techniques to address their anxiety and fear of failure. The article delves into the principles of somatic experiencing (S.E.), a type of therapy that emphasizes the body's role in emotional processing. The author discusses the benefits of S.E., such as reducing anxiety, improving emotional regulation, and promoting overall well-being. The article also highlights the growing popularity of somatic therapy and the increasing demand for practitioners.
Curious? Book a Somatic Experiencing session with Aaron today.